A Smell of Being
The Linger Loco!
Chapter 15: A Smell of Being
The driver of the moto-taxi toots his horn as we push
through a crowded street market. The town is alive with
activity, and once through we pull up outside a taxi-office
and haul our bags inside. There’s a car leaving for Inapari
on the border with Brazil in one hour. I ask the driver what
the road ahead is like, but he smiles and shrugs his shoulders.
We assume it can’t be any worse than the journey
from Cusco. Chilling on a comfortable sofa in the office for
a few minutes, we quickly become bored and decide to
take a look around the market. Chris hunts for chocolate
while I stumble across a stall with pirate CD’s for 25p each.
Purchasing a selection of Reggaetton compilations (the gritty
Latin pop that has become the nations favourite), and the
best of ‘The Rolling Stones’ in preparation for Rio, we return
to the taxi office and find our bags have been tightly
packed into the boot of the car. Our fellow passengers have
arrived and we are ready to head for Brazil.
A young friendly guy in a denim shirt and khaki shorts
sits in the front of the car, and we jump in the back with a
young woman and her son. Zipping through the traffic we
all become acquainted, and soon find ourselves down by
the port on the Rio Madre de Dios waiting for a small car
ferry. The boat eventually arrives and we watch as the
driver zooms up the gangplank. We’re transported across
182
the brown river, and find a wide straight road on the other
side that has been cut directly through the thick jungle. It’s
sandy and unpaved and is bright red in colour. The car
slides as the wheels struggle to gain traction on the dry
sandy surface. It’s like we’re driving on ice and the driver
turns into each skid, as we fly like a rally car towards
Brazil. We pass the occasional motorbike or horse and cart,
and leave them in a thick cloud of dust as we zoom by.
Some of them have handkerchiefs tied over their mouth
and nose. The young kid with the woman jumps around in
the back; he’s restless and plays with a toy car on the back
parcel shelf. I learn they’re on their way to visit her husband’s
family in a town called Iberia. She seems nervous
and confesses to me that she doesn’t like to make the journey
all the way out here with her son, which I can totally
understand.
Some hours later we arrive in the dusty little town of
Iberia. We say goodbye to the guy in the denim shirt, who
runs across the road and climbs into an old Jeep. The
woman and her child wave goodbye too, and disappear
down the road. The taxi driver smiles and pulls up outside
a shop on the corner of a tree-shaded plaza. Chris runs in
and grabs some refreshments, and while he’s paying at the
counter a new passenger jumps in the front seat of the car.
He’s a thin man and is wearing bright red shorts, a green
vest top and a baseball cap. He looks Peruvian, but his
clothes look more footballer/surfer style – a clear indication
that we’re close to Brazil. We relax in the back as the car
speeds off once more towards the border. We’re excited by
the prospect of seeing the new $80 million bridge in
Inapari that opened only a few days ago. We’d seen pictures
in the newspaper of the Peruvian and Brazilian
Presidents shaking hands, and officially opening the
bridge that will link the two countries together.
183
The prospect of crossing into a new country with a reputation
for harsh poverty and violence is a little daunting,
and I begin to feel nervous when we arrive at the border
town and pull up outside the Peruvian immigration office.
We walk inside the building with our rucksacks and smile
at the official. He asks for our passports and studies each
one for a few minutes before stamping them. Relieved to
have the formalities out of the way, we wander down a
dusty deserted high street with a few ramshackle shops
and cafés. Unsure how we get to Brazil from Inapari, we
grab a coffee in a small café and watch a group of black
vultures hop around someone’s backyard. A smart
Brazilian guy wearing jeans and a black T-shirt suddenly
approaches us. He has shades on his head and is wearing
fashionable white slip-on trainers. He asks in Spanish if
we’re going to Brazil and points at his car across the street.
It’s a black VW Santana saloon with tinted windows. We
assume he’s a taxi driver and ask how much to Brasileia, a
small town across the border. He gives us the option of
waiting two hours for more people to arrive to share the
price, or pay a bit extra and leave right away. Preferring to
leave before it gets dark we opt to pay the extra and, after
changing some Peruvian cash for Brazilian reals with the
girl in the café, we jump into his air-con Santana.
Approaching the impressive new suspension bridge, with
the Peruvian and Brazilian flags standing proudly either
side, I snap a few photos out of the window and capture a
billboard promoting the new ‘Trans-Oceanic Highway’.
Having only been open for two days we assume we must
be the first tourists to cross the bridge, and I feel quite
proud to be exploring a new frontier.
On the other side of the bridge, we discover there isn’t an
immigration checkpoint in the once isolated town of Assis
Brasil, so we decide to try and sort things out in the next
town of Brasileia. The road is a smooth tarmac highway
184
complete with an orange stripe painted down the middle.
It feels like we’ve been zapped into the future, from the
jungle dirt tracks of Peru to the modern world of Brazil.
I’m immediately aware of the lack of jungle here and
glance out over open fields. We pass the entrance to a large
cattle ranch with a private road that disappears into the
distance. The jungle has been heavily cultivated and bulldozed
here, and I fear we’re looking at the future of the
Peruvian Amazon and the Madre de Dios. The driver slips
a CD into the stereo and American Country and Western
music blasts from the speakers. It’s deeply surreal to go
from jungle to the Wild West in the short time it takes to
cross a twenty-metre bridge, and it suddenly occurs to me
how different North America, Europe and much of the
world must have looked before humans started cultivating
it. For the past few hundred years, we have been busy
destroying the natural forests of the world to feed our
greedy over-populated civilisations. It had all happened so
fast, humans appeared on this planet from nowhere, and
in a very short time we have quickly succeeded at destroying
much of the world’s natural wildernesses. I guess at
least we can be reassured by the fact that the earth is a
robust little planet, and has survived destruction many
times in its six billion years of existence. Meteorites,
volcanic eruptions and natural shifts in climate change
have wiped out 90% of the planet’s organisms on multiple
occasions, and will no doubt do so again, although,
probably long, long after we have eaten ourselves into
extinction.
We arrive in the small town of Brasilia in the late afternoon.
The driver drops us off near a taxi rank, and zooms
off before we’ve had a chance to ask him where the immigration
office is. We’re immediately accosted by a smiley
overweight Brazilian guy in a colourful Hawaiian shirt. He
185
offers to take us to Rio Branco, the first city of any size in
this remote part of Brazil. We agree, but I try to explain to
him that we need to visit immigration first so we can get
our passports stamped. He doesn’t understand, which is
excusable being as he speaks Portuguese and not Spanish,
and we have to stop him from taking us out of town and
hitting the highway. The guy finally clocks on and takes us
to the local police station. He tells us he’ll be back in one
hour, and that we should wait for him to return. Heading
inside the police station we stand nervously behind the
counter, and wait for the large gentleman in uniform to
look up from his desk. He stands up and stares at us sternly.
I smile and Chris mumbles a “Bom dia”. He’s an enormous
guy with thick hairy forearms and a big bushy moustache
that hangs from his top lip. He has a deep tan but looks
European, and is wearing a black uniform and a badge
with Policia Militar stitched onto it. I notice he has a handgun
and a baton strapped to his belt. He glares at us, but I
can see he’s smirking behind his moustache as we hand
over our passports. Looking confused the cop studies our
documents and asks “Que pais?” I recognise the word
‘pais’ meaning country, as it’s similar in Spanish.
‘Uh, Inglaterra,’ I reply.
He laughs out loud. ‘Inglês?’
‘Sim.’
He laughs again and calls his colleague over. His skinny
friend stands next to him and studies our documents with
interest. He points to our Peruvian exit stamp.
“Entrada para Brazil, aqui?” Chris grins, trying hard to
look cool and unfazed by the awkward situation.
The cops look confused. They walk around the office
and rummage through an old grey filing cabinet. The big
cop eventually makes a call and talks in a low voice to
someone on the other end of the phone. He places down
the receiver and mutters something to the skinny cop.
186
They eventually manage to work things out, and we realise
pretty quickly that they’re not used to foreigners crossing
this border. It seems bizarre that Brazil’s borders would be
left so wide open, and I assume it’s because they are either
happy for people to find their way into Brazil (a country
roughly the size of Europe), or they have a tough punishment
for anyone found illegally inside its borders. In a
country with a reputation for housing some of the worst
prisons in the world, we smile politely and wait in anticipation
for our passports to be stamped. With good humour the
cop mentions Tony Blair and Iraq, and we smile back pronouncing
that it’s crazy, “Loco”. The cultural divide between
Brazil and England seems smaller than Peru, and I find the
two police guys to have a relaxed, informal attitude that is
familiar. He stamps a month entry period in our passports
and hands them back. We shake his enormous hand and bid
him good day. We wait on the steps outside for our taxi to
return. The sun is low now flooding the street in soft
orange light, and hearing a car horn across the street we
see our chubby friend waving out of the window. We run
across the road and toss our rucksacks in the boot. There’re
two more guys sitting in the car. They both look over at us
and smile. The driver puts some soft rock music on the
stereo and heads out into the countryside, where we pass
more cattle ranches and a landscape without trees. We
arrive in Rio Branco around nine o’clock in the evening,
and showing the driver a hotel on the map he drops us off
right outside. The city itself is large and modern with big
casinos and love motels illuminating the outskirts. I had
not expected it to be so grand, and heading through the
doorway to the hotel I smile in the realisation that we have
finally arrived in Brazil.
187
* * *
Sitting hunched over on the toilet, I watch a mosquito
buzz between my hairy legs. It hovers above my crotch and
quickly flies off when I dump a load into the pan. My
stomach growls, and I tut as the horrific smell of excrement
drifts up my nostrils. You don’t have to be a genius
to work out that I’ve got some kind of a stomach bug. It
must’ve been that fish soup I had last night from a small,
rather rundown café around the corner from the hotel. I
knew we shouldn’t have gone inside, but it was late and
we were both starving. As I sit here with my pants around
my ankles, I pray my stomach will be better before our
long bus journey tonight to Cuiaba and the Pantanal, the
world’s largest inland swamp. The last thing I want to do
is kill everyone onboard with my ass odour. I whip up my
trousers and exit the bathroom.
‘Close the fucking door!’ Si screams, thrusting his head
out of the bedroom window. ‘Jesus Christ, you need to see
a doctor.’
‘“Where there is a stink of shit, there is a smell of being.”’
I smile, dancing across the room.
Abandoning the hotel room we sing a “bom dia” to the
smartly dressed woman working behind reception, and
hang a right out of the hotel towards the main shopping
area. It still hasn’t really sunk in yet that we’re in Brazil,
and that we made it here overland all the way from Buenos
Aires. I’m excited to be roaming around this vast country
with a population of over 186 million people. The ethnic
mix of the locals walking through the hot streets of the city
is truly striking. A genetic cocktail with African,
Indigenous and Portuguese people at its core, with the
occasional blonde-hair-blue-eyed Northern European
thrown in for good measure. Si informs me Rio Branco,
188
meaning ‘White River’, is the capital of the state of Acre.
The nearest major city is Manaus 1445km north up the
Amazon River. It’s far more developed than Puerto
Maldonado and I wonder if this is because it is linked by
road to the commercial centres of Brasilia, São Paulo and
Rio de Janeiro thousands of kilometres in the southeast.
We soon find ourselves in the commercial district of the
city, and dodge the crowds of people spilling out of the
many shops lined up along the busy high street. It’s not the
most attractive place I’ve ever visited, although, the grand
town hall at the far end of the plaza is pretty impressive.
We stand outside the white Palacio Rio Branco, Acre’s first
capital building. It looks immaculate with four Greek-like
columns at the entrance and both the Brazilian flag and
the Acre’s state flag either side of the steps. Deciding to
take a look around the museum, we wander through various
rooms with black and white photographs on the walls of
rubber tappers from the turn of the century. The original
copy of the treaty of Petropolis signed in 1903, which gave
Brazil the state of Acre is on display in a glass case. Before
this time Bolivia owned Acre, but for a pile of cash and the
promise of a railroad (that was never built) Bolivia handed it
over to Brazil. At this time the Amazon was fairly
untouched, the lungs of the planet where healthy, unlike
today where more than 12 football-field size areas of rainforest
are destroyed every half an hour.
Walking through a doorway, we look at photographs and
study information about Chico Mendes, a Brazilian rubber
tapper and trade union activist, who was awarded many
prizes by foreign countries for his organisation of peaceful
protests against illegal logging. Sadly, he was killed in
1988 under the order of two landowners. Trying to stop the
illegal loggers in the Amazon is a dangerous business, and
an American nun was killed fairly recently by hired gunmen.
Brazil is fast becoming one of the largest soybean
189
producers in the world, with millions of acres of land
being cleared to grow the crop. With the global market
forces of America and Europe hungry for Brazilian
mahogany, beef and soy, land has become the new gold.
Government agents have been trying to catch illegal loggers
using satellite imaging, but to enforce anything substantial
out here it is practically impossible. Corruption and violence
is rife. It will take a lot more than satellite cameras
and a few government environmental agents to save this
wilderness.
Stepping into another room we find ourselves surrounded
by Indian head-dresses made from the feathers of colourful
exotic birds. We study photographs of the Indian Chiefs
from all of the various tribes that existed in this region.
Some of them are women, and we’re fascinated to note
how similar they look to the Indians of North America.
Looking deep into their narrow eyes, we’re fascinated by
the physical similarities with the Buryat people we had
seen close to the border with Mongolia during our mammoth
road trip across Russia and Siberia. Recent scientific
evidence using genetic tracing has revealed this is in fact
true, and that the first inhabitants of this region of the
world made the long journey from Siberia across the
Bering Strait to Alaska between 12,000 and 50,000 years
ago. Studying clay pipes and bows and arrows in glass
cases on the walls, I feel in awe of the Indians’ natural
existence. Two worlds are colliding, and I begin to wonder
which one I would prefer to belong to. Despite there still
being over 170 indigenous Amazonian peoples living in
Brazil, in recent years many had been displaced from their
ancestral territory with the rapid destruction of the forest.
Studying their life size portraits, it makes me angry to
think that in such a short space of time our insatiable global
thirst has destroyed so much. In 20 years time it is predicted
over 40 percent of the Amazon will have been cut down
190
and a further 20 percent degraded. The forest produces
half of its own rainfall and absorbs carbon dioxide, mitigating
global warming and cleansing the atmosphere – it
produces the oxygen that allows us to breathe. I begin to
feel suddenly claustrophobic in the small windowless
room of the museum and head outside.
Our taxi driver, who is also a frustrated Formula One racing
driver, transports us through the dark streets from our
hotel to the bus station in approximately thirty seconds
flat – a time even Ayrton Senna would’ve struggled to beat.
Si looks pale and falls out of the VW GOL with blue neon
lights under the car. We head over to the Eucatur bus office
and purchase two tickets bound for Cuiaba. They cost $50
each, which sounds a lot, but then Si reminds me it is a 36-
hour journey and will save us two night’s accommodation.
The bus doesn’t leave for an hour, so we haul our bags over
to a bench and chill out. I open the guidebook, and I’m just
about to read about Rio de Janeiro when a guy selling jewelry
approaches us. He’s Afro-Brazilian and has wicked
dreadlocks and colourful beads hanging around his neck.
He smiles and displays a board covered with handcrafted
necklaces, earrings and bracelets. I point to a colourful
wristband and ask how much. It’s two reals, about 50p,
which sounds cheap so I hand over the money and the guy
ties it around my wrist.
Si looks enviously at my new bracelet. ‘That’s actually
quite nice. A bit of a chick thing to wear, but then it’s fashionable
these days to show you’re in touch with your
feminine side.’
‘Piss off, there’s nothing wrong with wearing a wristband.’
‘Hey, I wonder if that dude likes a smoke. We should ask
him if he’s got any.’
‘Got any what?’
‘You know, weed.’
191
‘You are joking?’
‘No.’
‘Si, you can’t ask him that, he might take offence.’
‘Take offence? He’s got dreadlocks. People with dreadlocks
don’t take offence. Anyway, this is Brazil my slow
learning dunce.’
‘Forget about it.’
We sit in silence and watch as he displays his jewelry to
a few more potential customers.
‘He certainly has a cool life,’ I smile, watching him hook
a beaded necklace around a woman’s neck.
‘You think so?’
‘Yeah, he’s free – he’s an artisan living from his art.’
‘So are we.’
I laugh. ‘We’re not artisans, Si! The only thing we’ve skillfully
made recently is two great big holes in our wallets.’
‘I wonder if he sells much.’
‘I’m sure he does quite well, he doesn’t look hungry.’
‘Maybe we should give it a go!’
‘We can’t sell jewelry at bus stations?’
Si narrows his eyes. ‘No, you numb-nuts, sell our books.’
‘That’s what we tried to do in Thailand, wasn’t it?’
‘Not really, we spent most of our time eating Pad Thai,
splashing around in the sea with pretty girls and drinking
buckets of Thai whiskey.’
‘Ah, yes, memories!’
‘Maybe we should sell them direct in the street like that
guy?’
‘No way, I’ve got some self respect!’ I cry, munching on a
chunk of pineapple.
‘What do you mean? If he can do it – why can’t we?’
‘You can’t sell a book you’ve written yourself. It’s cheesy!’
‘Well, that’s how Charles Dickens got started. He used to
sell his stories in chapters for a penny.’
‘He didn’t make much profit, then?’
192
‘OK, how about at a market? We could set up a little car
boot stall.’
‘Shut the fuck up, Si, you’re really scaring me. I don’t
know whether to run away or put you in a mental home.
What’s the matter with you?’
‘I’m just trying to look at the situation from all angles.’
You can say that again. Look, let’s move the problem to
one side and put it in the ‘wait until we get back home to
reality’ box. Is that a deal?’
Si nods and jumps to his feet when he sees the bus pull
into the station. ‘Yeah, OK, it’s a deal!’
Buy on Amazon: Only £7.19!
UK Amazon.co.uk: The Linger Loco!: In Search of the Real Carnival
USA Amazon.com: The Linger Loco! In Search of the Real Carnival


