It’s a Kind of Magic
March 31, 2010 by admin
Filed under Linger Longer
Linger Longer: Driving the Trans-Siberian
Chapter 24: It’s a Kind of Magic
We wander through the bustling streets of the city and
find ourselves down by the waterfront. Weaving between
crowds of people gathered around brightly painted kiosks
and beer tents, we head in the direction of a lively restaurant
nestled beneath a green canopy. Treating ourselves to
a steak, we watch a group of drunken youth’s sing out of
tune around a portable karaoke machine.
‘This is great,’ Chris laughs. ‘What a bizarre city!’
‘Yeah, three cheers to Vladivostok. Three cheers to Lord
of the Dance.’
Chris frowns. ‘Lord of the Dance?’
‘Yeah, Vladivostok means Lord of the Dance.’
‘Don’t you mean Lord of the East?’
‘Yeah, that’s it!’
‘Si, you’re an idiot, do you know that?’
‘Hey, cockhead, no one’s perfect.’
‘True. Anyway, you can see how Vladivostok has been
compared to San Francisco, can’t you?’
‘Can you?’
‘Yeah, it’s similar, isn’t it,’ Chris replies. ‘With all of its
steep hills, tramlines and ocean views.’
‘How do you know? You’ve never been to San
Francisco.’
‘Yeah, but I’ve seen Herbie Rides Again.’
‘Fair enough.’
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With bellies bursting, we take another stroll around the
city and take in more sights before returning to the hotel
around seven for a drink. Entering the lobby, we follow
signs to a bar and quickly find ourselves in the doorway
of a tiny room in the basement. A middle-aged woman
and a very attractive girl in her twenties with curly brown
hair, greet us as we enter the room. Much to our relief the
younger girl speaks English, she shows us to the only table
close to the bar. Chris orders a whiskey and I settle for a
vodka on the rocks. We sip the drinks and quickly fall into
conversation with the magnificent girl called Anika. She’s
six feet tall and has the longest legs I have ever seen. She
sits beside me and lights a cigarette. Her short black dress
clings to the tops of her thighs, and I distract myself by
peering down into my vodka glass.
‘In Vladivostok we think English people are cold,’ she
smiles.
‘Cold?’ I reply.
‘Da.’
‘Are James Bond and Robbie Williams, cold?’
She nods vigorously. ‘Da, I don’t like them. I like Brad
Pitt and T.A.T.U.’
I turn to Chris. ‘Who the hell are T.A.T.U?’
‘They’re those hot bisexual honeys from Russia. They performed
at this year’s Eurovision song contest, remember?’
I turn back to the girl and smile. ‘Yeah, T.A.T.U are
amazing.’
Chris tells the story about how we have driven to
Vladivostok from the UK. Anika laughs and quickly
changes the subject, but Chris perseveres and continues to
share details of our adventure. Suddenly, an enormous
guy in a purple tracksuit enters the room and walks over
to the bar. He overhears our conversation and confidently
joins our table. We quickly discover that Roman is an ex-
Olympic Russian heavyweight boxing champion, who
lived in Beverly Hills for ten years and once lived in a
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mansion next door to MC Hammer. Much to our surprise
he seems genuinely fascinated by our story of driving
from the UK to Vladivostok.
‘I welcome you to Vladivostok,’ he smiles, raising his
glass.
We both raise our drinks.
‘Nastrovia,’ Chris replies.
Anika seems star struck by Roman’s presence, and immediately
fixes us all new drinks. Roman is the strongest guy
I have ever seen. His hands are the size of Chris’s head and
his neck is as thick as a tree trunk. He whips out his wallet
and shows us a picture of his wife, who is in the
Russian Olympic karate team, and a faded photo of himself
in his prime stood next to his coach. With spiky
blonde hair and a ridiculously square jaw, he has exactly
the same features as Dolph Lundgren, who played the
Russian boxer in the 1985 classic, Rocky IV. He impresses
us with his story of how he had to quit boxing after he was
shot in the stomach. He lifts up his T-shirt and shows us
the scar. We gasp in amazement as he explains to us how
he was a bodyguard later in his career, and took a bullet
for some rich businessman he was protecting. He hasn’t
been able to box professionally since, but he is now an
Olympic coach. The guy’s enthusiasm and energy amazes
me. He seems as soft as a pussycat, and I can only imagine
that it’s the knowledge of his strength and abilities, which
allow him to be himself. He doesn’t need to put up a front,
or prove that he is stronger or more capable – it’s just an
unspoken fact, an inner confidence that naturally
demands respect. Chris looks miniature sat next to this
giant and challenging him to an arm wrestle, the guy
swiftly offers Chris his index finger. Taking up the challenge,
Chris wraps the palm of his hand around the guy’s
enormous digit and takes the strain. Roman beats him
with incredible ease and I sit back and look in awe at this
guy’s outrageous strength.
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Skipping off to the toilet, I pass six Japanese guys exiting
the hotel sauna. Dressed in little swimming trunks,
they chatter loudly with their bottles of Ashai beer and
disappear into a side room. Swaying at the urinal, I catch
myself humming ‘Hammer Time’ and amused when I
remember why, I up-tempo and dance Hammer-style over
to the sink. As I exit the toilet, I hear singing coming from
inside the room, which the Japanese guys disappeared
into. Peeking through a gap in the door, I smile when I see
them all sat around a table in their trunks listening to one
of the dudes singing a sentimental love song into a microphone.
Suddenly, Anika enters the corridor and walks
towards me with a tray full of Ashai beer. I quickly leap
back and lean against the wall.
‘Oh, hi,’ I grin.
‘You like karaoke, Simon?’
‘No … I mean, yes! It’s great.’
‘You would like to use machine?’
I blush. ‘Uh … maybe later.’
‘OK,’ Anika smiles, gracefully swinging the tray into the
karaoke room.
I drop my smile and make a dash for the bar. Re-joining
the others at the table, Chris introduces me to a new
recruit called Seung, a bizarre looking chap in his late
twenties from Seoul in South Korea. Seung wears big
thick glasses and has a sharp bowl cut, and is quick to
inform me that he is paralyzed down the left side of his
face. He tells me that his affliction is stress related and
that he is unable to smile – one morning he woke up and
couldn’t use any of the muscles down one side of his face.
It has really affected his life and he has lost a lot of confidence,
especially with the girls.
‘Girls like a guy with a smile,’ he sighs, ‘…and I can’t
smile.’
Close to spitting out my vodka, I contain myself and listen
with intrigue as Seung informs me that society in
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South Korea is incredibly competitive, and that many
people suffer from stress related illness. He seems fascinated
by our travels, and shows great admiration for tossing
aside our careers and heading off on an adventure. It
is something he admits he could never imagine doing in
South Korea, where the measure of success is directly related
to material wealth and the achievements in your career.
His family would be ashamed of him if he were to turn his
back on the family business and disappear on a whim.
‘Hey, Si!’ Chris interrupts. ‘Roman knows someone who
might be interested in buying the Sierra.’
‘Really?’
Roman nods. ‘Yes. My friend, Artur, is croupier in the
hotel casino. He has many connections. He may buy car
from you.’
Seeing Anika return to the bar, she throws me a testicletingling
gaze and starts chatting to the older woman
crushing ice behind the counter.
‘We go!’ Roman commands, downing his vodka.
‘Where?’ I frown disappointed by the idea of a sudden
departure.
‘To meet Artur,’ Chris grins.
‘Oh, right. Actually, I might chill out here with Seung for
a bit. You go.’
Chris looks a bit surprised by my unenthusiastic
response.
Roman looks over at Anika and then throws me a wink.
‘I wish you luck,’ he smiles.
* * *
What the hell am I doing? I’m in a lift with an ex-Olympic
boxer, who definitely has connections with the Russian
Mafia and an index finger that could break my spine.
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Roman is apparently taking me up to his penthouse suite
to introduce me to his mate, Artur. The elevator seems to
be taking ages – it’s the slowest lift in the bloody world. He
looks down at me and smiles. I crank my neck and smile
back. Come on lift, how long does it take to go up thirteen
floors? I know Roman must weigh roughly the same as a
blue whale, but this is ridiculous. The silence is killing
me. I have to say something.
‘So, uh … did it hurt when you got shot?’ I mumble.
For fuck’s sake! What kind of a question is that? Roman
furrows his brow, while I clench my buttocks together and
cringe with embarrassment. Luckily, the elevator doors
open before he has time to answer. We exit the lift and
walk towards a door at the far end of the corridor. Roman
swings it open and welcomes me inside. The place is
incredible. It’s huge with an impressive view of the ocean.
Roman takes me through to the lounge, where a smartly
dressed guy and a pretty girl in hot pants sit slouched on
a white leather sofa. I immediately notice two lines of
cocaine on the glass coffee table in front of them. Roman
introduces me to Artur and Katya. Artur works in the
hotel casino and, I think, Katya is … uh … a lady of the
night. Here in Russia sleeping with a prostitute appears to
be as normal as brushing your teeth, although, I could be
wrong, she could be Artur’s girlfriend. Artur wipes his
nose and sniffs before shaking my hand.
‘Dobry,’ he smiles.
‘Dobry,’ I reply shyly, nodding at Katya.
Artur leans forward, and using a rolled up note he snorts
one of the lines of cocaine up his left nostril. He throws
his head back and hands Katya the note. She then leans
forward and clears the other line in a swift motion.
There’s something quite disturbing about watching a pretty
girl snort cocaine, but I try not to look surprised and
quickly glance down at her breasts. They both sniff hard
and simultaneously grab their drinks off the coffee table.
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‘Please,’ Roman smiles, ‘take a seat.’
I do as I’m told. Artur immediately opens up a small bag
and begins lining up more cocaine with a credit card.
‘You would like?’ he asks.
‘Uh … sure,’ I reply.
Katya looks over at me, and sniffs. She stares deep into
my eyes.
‘Chris, you want vodka?’ Roman shouts from across the
lounge.
‘Yes, that would be great, spaceeba.’
Roman pours the drink and places it in front of me.
‘Drink and be merry,’ he laughs.
Rolling up a ten dollar note, I shuffle to the edge of my
seat. I haven’t been white line dancing for about a year,
not since I went to a fancy dress party dressed as Zoro.
The cocaine is as smooth as silk and hits me with a bang.
Artur quickly makes me another line. I don’t hesitate to
accept and before you can say “Oh, the okey-cokey”, I’ve
hoovered it all up my nostril and I’m sniffing like a mad
man.
Roman sits down beside Artur and talks to him in
Russian. Artur listens carefully and nods his head. They
both lean back and sip their drinks.
‘Chris, I tell Artur about your car.’
I wipe my nose, and nod. ‘Yeah, it’s a Ford Sierra.’
‘Maybe I interested,’ Artur smiles.
‘Really?’
‘Da, how much you sell?’
Feeling a little off-chops, I glance quickly around the
room. ‘Uh … I don’t know. It’s pretty fucked up.’
‘It is old car?’
‘It’s about sixteen years old.’
‘Ah, it is very old car. It has big engine?’
‘About that big,’ I smile, holding my hands roughly
three feet apart.
Artur laughs. ‘You are very funny.’
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He feeds me more cocaine and knocking back my vodka,
I find myself jabbering away like I’m with old friends.
Roman makes a call and, suddenly two beautiful girls
arrive at the door. Roman immediately disappears into the
bedroom with one of the girls.
Katya switches on MTV and blasts up the volume.
* * *
Seung half yawns and heads off to bed. He’s as sober as a
judge and seems to be slightly depressed. From what I
gather he doesn’t have one single ounce of enthusiasm or
excitement left in his over worked body. I know he’s here
on business for a few days at some trade show, but why
should that stop him from getting his credit card out and
having some fun at the company’s expense? Surely he
deserves it, he’s only 27 years old. I know he has a face
disability, which would certainly lower your enthusiasm
to ‘get up and go’, but to sit here all night and moan constantly
while sipping a pathetic glass of orange juice, is
truly incredible.
I watch as the bar slowly begins to empty. The Japanese
guys stop singing karaoke and make their way to the casino,
and the older woman working behind the bar kisses her
colleague goodnight and heads off home. As I’d hoped,
Anika seems keen for me to stick around. More than happy
to keep her company, I feel deeply aroused as she dims the
lights and pours us both a drink.
‘Simon, do you believe in magic?’
‘Magic?’ I reply.
‘Da, magic,’ she smiles, sitting down beside me.
‘Uh … I’m not sure.’
‘Why not sure? I believe in magic.’
‘Really?’
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She nods and takes a sip of her drink.
‘What kind of magic do you believe in?’
‘Good magic,’ she smiles. ‘I read a lot of … how do you
call it … fantasy.’
‘Stories about witches and wizards, that kind of thing?’
‘Da.’
‘Wow, that’s pretty cool. I haven’t read anything like that
for years.’
‘Close your eyes.’
‘Why?’ I laugh nervously.
‘I want to show you magic.’
Reluctantly I do as she asks, and feeling her soft fingertips
against my temple, I smile at the sensation of the intimacy
and silence. After sometime, I relax and begin to feel a warm
energy flowing into my body through her fingers. It trickles
past my ears and down either side of my neck, and spreads
quickly across my shoulders and down my spine.
‘Can you feel it?’ she whispers, breaking the silence.
‘Yeah, I think I can.’
‘It is magic, Simon.’
The warm sensation fills my entire body, reaching the
ends of my fingers and the tips of my toes. I shift in my seat
and clear my throat as I feel my trousers becoming tighter
around the crotch. Anika drops her hands and sits back as
the warm energy continues to circulate around my body.
‘How do you feel?’ she whispers softly.
‘That was amazing.’
‘You see,’ she smiles, looking pleased, ‘I told you there
is magic.’
Composing myself, I take a sip of my drink.
‘What is your symbol?’ she asks.
‘Symbol?’
‘Da. You say in English astrologic?’
‘Oh, my astrological star sign.’
‘Da, da, what is it?’
‘Scorpio.’
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‘Ah, this explains a lot. And what is your Chinese animal?’
‘Uh … year of the Tiger, I think.’
She throws her head back, and gasps.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing. It is very powerful combination. We are compatible!’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, in head and heart.’
‘Excellent,’ I grin.
‘What makes you happy in life, Simon?’
‘Happy?’
‘Yes. Just answer the question,’ she snaps, grinding her
teeth together.
I shrug. ‘Dunno. I hate it when people are sad.’
‘Yes! I see this in you, Simon. You cannot be happy unless
the people around you are happy. You search for this?’
‘Yeah, maybe I do. I’ve been searching a lot just recently.’
‘I hope you find what you look for.’
‘Hmm, I was thinking maybe it’s better I don’t. I’m
enjoying just looking for it right now.’
‘Ah, I see! It is the journey you love. This is very wise.’
Anika’s eyes flicker in the dim light. I can feel her warm
breath on my neck.
‘Simon, you like to go somewhere?’
‘Go where?’ I hesitantly reply.
‘Somewhere private.’
She begins to draw her nails across my back. We kiss.
‘I like you, Simon,’ she whispers, pushing her tongue
into my mouth.
‘I like you, too.’
‘You have money?’
I’m surprised by her question. ‘Money?’
‘Da.’
I nod shyly. ‘Yes, I have money.’
Taking my hand, Anika rises to her feet and leads me out
into the corridor.
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* * *
With half a gram of the finest cocaine in my bloodstream
and a room full of beautiful girls to keep me inspired, I
hoover up another line and pat Artur on the back.
‘I like you, Artur. You’re a good man,’ I smile.
‘Da, I am, Spaceeba,’ Artur arrogantly replies. ‘So, Chris,
now you in Vladivostok what you do?’
‘Well, I only have a small amount of money left, so I
need to return home pretty soon.’
‘Where is home?’
‘Daventry.’
Artur frowns. ‘Dovintery?’
‘No, Daventry. It’s in England.’
‘Ah … da, da, England. David Beckham!’ he smiles.
‘Yes! You like David Beckham?’
‘Da, he has cool hair.’
Artur looks embarrassed by what he has just said and
darts paranoid glances around the room. ‘So why you not
drive home to Dovintery?’ he asks with wide eyes.
‘No way, it’s too far! I don’t think my body would be able
to withstand the pain. We thought about getting the boat
to Japan and flying home from there, but our money situation
is a problem.’
‘Get train to Moscow,’ Artur suggests.
‘I was thinking about that.’
Artur clicks his fingers and beams a smile. ‘You go to
China!’
‘Hey … now there’s an idea! Ah, but we don’t have visas.’
‘There is Consulate in Khabarovsk. You are very close …
you should go! China is cheap and nice girls for you in
China.’
‘I like what you’re saying! You should come with us?’
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Artur drops his smile. ‘Impossible,’ he replies, shaking
his head. ‘I have work and no money.’
I nod sympathetically. ‘Maybe next time.’
He shrugs his shoulders and lights a cigarette.
‘Hey, Artur!’ I suddenly cry. ‘You still want the car?’
‘Da, I still interested. But how much for car?’
‘For you … nothing!’
‘Nothing?’
‘You’re a good man, so I give it to you for free.’
Artur looks confused. ‘You give me car for free?’
‘Yes, I want you to have the Sierra. No money!’
‘You joke with me, Chris.’
‘No, I’m serious. I want you to have the car.’
Artur still looks confused. ‘But…’
‘No buts … the car is yours!’
‘Spaceeba, Chris!’ he beams, shaking my hand vigorously.
I jab around inside my pockets for the keys, but I remember
I’ve left them in the room … my mind races.
‘I want to give you the keys!’ I cry.
‘The keys?’ Artur frowns.
‘Da. The keys! I want to give you the keys to the car!’
Artur nods vigorously.
We sit in silence and smile at each other, confused and
waiting for the next move. Leaping to my feet, I suddenly
march across the penthouse suite like a soldier on parade.
Artur charges after me and meets me at the door.
‘Where you go?’ Artur shouts.
‘To room 806 … to get the keys for the car!’
‘Room 806?’
‘Da.’
His pupils are huge and his face looks slightly twisted.
‘But, what about girls?’ he whispers, pointing over his
shoulder.
I see Katya dancing in front of the TV with the girl in
thigh length boots. She blows me a kiss.
‘You want boom-boom?’ he winks.
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A sneaky grin appears across my sweaty face. ‘I’ll be
right back!’
Charging out of the room, I make my way speedily down
the corridor. Did he just say what I thought he said? I pick
up pace and decide to take the stairs. Jumping two to three
steps at a time, I arrive quickly at the eighth floor. Finding
the room, I fumble with the key in the lock and leap
inside. I zip around the beds like Speedy Gonzalez and
snatch the car keys from the bedside table. I dive into the
bathroom and check my appearance. Fuck, I’m sweating.
I reach for the towel and wipe my face. I pace around the
bathroom and look in the mirror again.
‘Calm down, Chris, you’re looking cool,’ I mutter under
my breath. ‘You’re just a little off-chops, that’s all.’
Stripping off my clothes, I impulsively decide to take a
shower. I turn the temperature to cold and dance around
under the powerful jet of water. Feeling refreshed, I throw
on a bathrobe and begin brushing my teeth. Struggling to
concentrate, I suddenly remember what I’m supposed to
be doing.
‘The keys! I must give Artur the keys!’
Just as I’m about to throw my clothes back on, I hear a
knock at the door. I’m immediately paranoid. Creeping up
to the door I peer through the spy hole. To my great surprise,
I see Katya stood outside the room with the girl in
the thigh length boots. I blink and rub my eyes. Dabbing
my face on the corner of the bathrobe, I take a deep breath
and swing open the door.
‘Hello,’ I beam.
The girls giggle and push their way past me. I stumble to
one side and watch them jump playfully on my bed. My
God they’re sexy, but what the hell are they doing here?
‘I’m supposed to be going back to see Artur,’ I smile, fidgeting
uncomfortably. ‘To give him the keys for the car.’
The girls giggle.
‘Artur sent us,’ Katya smiles, licking her red lips.
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‘He sent you to my room?’
They both look at me and nod.
Katya is absolutely beautiful. She has blonde bobbed
hair and big blue watery eyes. The other girl is also incredible,
with long jet-black hair tied back in a ponytail and a
piercing above her right eyebrow. You just want to wrap
her up in cotton wool and pop her in your pocket. I still
feel really coked up, so I race into the bathroom and slap
my face. It’s all too good to be true – I’m alone in a room
with two girls who seem to be, well … up for it! I grab the
towel and dab my face. Skidding out of the bathroom, I
catwalk up to the girls. Katya grabs my hand and pulls me
onto the bed. She begins kissing me on the lips while the
other girl begins to unzip her hot pants. I lie back in
amazement and watch the girls undress each other. I keep
expecting to wake up and find myself sitting in the car on
an empty road in the middle of Siberia, but I don’t. This
really is happening. Within seconds, the girls are naked
and kissing each other. I stand over them, my legs turn to
jelly and without any warning Katya unties my robe and
starts working away on my bad boy. The other girl kneels
forward and begins to join in. It’s impossible for me to
describe how I feel at this moment in time, nothing in my
entire life has even come close to being as pleasurable as
this. Katya looks up at me and holds up a condom. I smile
and quickly remove my robe. Both girls throw me back
onto the bed and quite literally eat me alive.
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